Would you believe that I was once (not long ago) convinced that I wasn't capable of running?
I started to think about why this was. I also thought about why this recently changed. There is no one single thing that sparked the change. It's a very complex series of events and I feel the need to hash them out right here in the hopes that it will help someone else in some way.
(If you know me well, you know that I'm a big picture person. I think of ALL of what most would consider minute details.) Let's just say, I loved Macro Economics but could not stand Micro.
I played soccer in an urban area where I lived in my youth - I always enjoyed it, the other kids on my team were nice, I have no bad memories of this time. I don't remember if we lost or won & I had no lack of self esteem this was from age 5-7. When I was in the third grade we moved to the country, soccer was a new thing to our school and I played from age 9-12, we lost every game we played but I never was too upset, I look back and think that learning to be a good loser was really important, even though it felt bad to never win a game I still don't think my self esteem was all that low- my team mates were fairly nice kids. When I got into Jr High, I played basketball in a CYC League, even though my Dad helped coach my team some of the kids were really mean and I ended up hating sports but kept playing just to make my Dad happy. Because mean things were said to me you can guess, my lack of self esteem became evident. I wasn't as good of a player as I could have been because I was constantly nervous and frazzled and upset. I made the freshman basketball team in high school, and being on that team was among the worst experiences of my life. That was the end of my athletic training - until this year. Now sprinkled in with these formal sports experiences, I had people tell me that I ran funny, walked funny, looked stupid when I ran, you get the idea. So what did I do? I believed them.
Ok, writing that really is a downer for me. I'm over it, I harbor no more anger towards the people involved, I forgive and I really forget most of it. So, it's with great joy that I write the next paragraph.
I can't remember when, but sometime within the last year or two I was reading a magazine about Chi Running. In it, the founder said that ALL HUMAN BEINGS were made to run. We don't need to take a class on it, it's in our genes. He was talking about barefoot running and how much better it is for our bodies. I was interested and immediately searched online for all the information I could find about Barefoot Running, Chi Running and the like. I thought that maybe there was a chance for me to be a runner after all. I thought the shoes were cool, but I still lacked the faith in myself.
Fast forward to now, I run with my kids 5 days a week in a double jogging stroller in triple digit heat. Before I had the double jogger I walked with 1 kid in a stroller and the other one in a Boba Carrier. It would take me approximately 50 minutes to walk 1.5 miles, now with the double stroller I jog just over 3 miles in 45 minutes. I have been at this now for only a month and a half, and not only does it feel good to run, it feels good to know that I CAN DO IT! Perhaps having two natural births helped me realize that I'm strong enough to run. Maybe it was the weight training that helped tone me up? Maybe it was the need to find an activity that would get my kids outdoors in this heat without having them sweat bullets? Maybe it's because running helps my digestive system so much that I now constantly crave the run? Maybe it's because I learned that the primal diet works for me, so why not primal exercise?
It certainly is a combination of experiences that led to my becoming an athlete & runner. The most important thing that I did though, is forgive & forget other peoples perceptions of me. I now have a healthy perception of myself, and when I look at something that I (at one time) never thought possible, now I know that IT IS possible. Such a shift has changed me completely, and makes life so much more fun!
I started to think about why this was. I also thought about why this recently changed. There is no one single thing that sparked the change. It's a very complex series of events and I feel the need to hash them out right here in the hopes that it will help someone else in some way.
(If you know me well, you know that I'm a big picture person. I think of ALL of what most would consider minute details.) Let's just say, I loved Macro Economics but could not stand Micro.
I played soccer in an urban area where I lived in my youth - I always enjoyed it, the other kids on my team were nice, I have no bad memories of this time. I don't remember if we lost or won & I had no lack of self esteem this was from age 5-7. When I was in the third grade we moved to the country, soccer was a new thing to our school and I played from age 9-12, we lost every game we played but I never was too upset, I look back and think that learning to be a good loser was really important, even though it felt bad to never win a game I still don't think my self esteem was all that low- my team mates were fairly nice kids. When I got into Jr High, I played basketball in a CYC League, even though my Dad helped coach my team some of the kids were really mean and I ended up hating sports but kept playing just to make my Dad happy. Because mean things were said to me you can guess, my lack of self esteem became evident. I wasn't as good of a player as I could have been because I was constantly nervous and frazzled and upset. I made the freshman basketball team in high school, and being on that team was among the worst experiences of my life. That was the end of my athletic training - until this year. Now sprinkled in with these formal sports experiences, I had people tell me that I ran funny, walked funny, looked stupid when I ran, you get the idea. So what did I do? I believed them.
Ok, writing that really is a downer for me. I'm over it, I harbor no more anger towards the people involved, I forgive and I really forget most of it. So, it's with great joy that I write the next paragraph.
I can't remember when, but sometime within the last year or two I was reading a magazine about Chi Running. In it, the founder said that ALL HUMAN BEINGS were made to run. We don't need to take a class on it, it's in our genes. He was talking about barefoot running and how much better it is for our bodies. I was interested and immediately searched online for all the information I could find about Barefoot Running, Chi Running and the like. I thought that maybe there was a chance for me to be a runner after all. I thought the shoes were cool, but I still lacked the faith in myself.
Fast forward to now, I run with my kids 5 days a week in a double jogging stroller in triple digit heat. Before I had the double jogger I walked with 1 kid in a stroller and the other one in a Boba Carrier. It would take me approximately 50 minutes to walk 1.5 miles, now with the double stroller I jog just over 3 miles in 45 minutes. I have been at this now for only a month and a half, and not only does it feel good to run, it feels good to know that I CAN DO IT! Perhaps having two natural births helped me realize that I'm strong enough to run. Maybe it was the weight training that helped tone me up? Maybe it was the need to find an activity that would get my kids outdoors in this heat without having them sweat bullets? Maybe it's because running helps my digestive system so much that I now constantly crave the run? Maybe it's because I learned that the primal diet works for me, so why not primal exercise?
It certainly is a combination of experiences that led to my becoming an athlete & runner. The most important thing that I did though, is forgive & forget other peoples perceptions of me. I now have a healthy perception of myself, and when I look at something that I (at one time) never thought possible, now I know that IT IS possible. Such a shift has changed me completely, and makes life so much more fun!
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